Fast Legs-Free Heart

photo 4(2)

I have been thinking a lot this week.  I started this blog forever ago and I need to get back to it!  Often when I run, I get lost in deep thought.  “What do I think about when I run?”  Sometimes, I have no idea.  Sometimes, it makes me angry.  Sometimes, I get depressed.  Yes, I said it.  I don’t know why either.  I think we all get depressed at times and it just makes us human.  I think for me, running alone in the dark makes me get depressed.  It can be very lonely out there.  I wouldn’t necessarily change it.  I feel relaxed and sometimes I push myself harder.


When I go running, I become discouraged at times.  I know a lot of runners do.  It is a mental battle and you have to find a way out of it, or you will not finish your run.  For me, I think about those who can’t.  My friend, Melissa, she made me aware of a group called “Outrun.”  It is a group of people fighting for people with CF.  They have races and post every day all of the miles they run.  I think this is a wonderful group and I am excited about it.  If you have something positive to think about, you will never fail.  I think about all of the people who cannot run and how much they want to.  I hope there is never a day I cannot run.  I would be sad.


This week, I am slowly heeling from my bad fall on Saturday.  I won’t lie, it was scary.  I woke myself up twice this week from the sensation of falling.  It was awful.  I never want to fall again.  I started Monday off with a nice 7.4 mile run.  Tuesday, I went out to do my long run and at about mile four, it started to blizzard.  It was awful.  I had a headlamp on and a lot of reflective gear.  I am pretty sure my eye lashes were icy and my face was frozen.  I get sensitive so I was upset when a truck honked at me.  I didn’t know it was going to be that bad out and I was wearing the proper reflective items.   Also, I was running way over on the grass.  There was nothing more I could do.  I would never take a ride from a stranger, but instead of honking, he could have checked to make sure I was alright.  I have been asked by many people during bad storms if I needed a ride.  There are a lot of good citizens out there.  However, my mother always tells me to never under any circumstances, take a ride from a stranger.  Her friend was killed in college when she was hitch-hiking.  Her name was Reggie and I think her killer was recently found but I am not 100% sure.



We had a snow day on Wednesday.  It was really nice because I got to go to the gym and run.  I was already up to 15 miles on Wednesday morning, but this brought me up to 22.5….I am beginning to like 7.5 miles….I think this is my magical number.  It feels just right and I feel like I get a good workout.  I do not feel tired.  I hope I can keep this up though today will be hard.  It’s Friday and I am excited to be at 30 miles for the week already.  I time it just right so I can run before I pick up Lilly.  Lilly is happy she gets to play so I do not feel bad about running.  I got done running my 7.5 miles of progression yesterday and she was running in the gym…that is a double win!!!!!


I still haven’t done my long run for the week so I am hoping to tomorrow if the weather isn’t horrible.  My nephew’s birthday was yesterday so I am going to Oswego today with Andrew and Lilly for Dinner.  I need to run before and I have to make time.  It seems pretty nice outside so maybe during planning I can get a few miles in.  Sometimes I think people look at me like I am crazy to run so much…but it relaxes me and I get really stressed.  I think it keeps me sane sometimes and I feel amazing.


Today’s thought:  Sometimes you just have to have faith that things will work out.  It may not go as planned, but it makes you stronger.  Running has truly been a blessing.  I have a wonderful daughter and I have not had an easy past.  Running has given me faith that if you push yourself and set goals, anything is possible.  You just have to believe that there is a plan, even if you cannot see it!


What is next?  I do not have any races coming up soon…it feels nice because I can just run and be happy.  I think the month of April and the  month of May will be pretty busy.  I am looking forward to Spring, but I think mother nature has given us a pretty good winter so far.  I cannot complain because I can still feel my finger tips!


As for life, I am excited to bring Lilly to a paint class Sunday!!!!   She loves to paint so I cannot wait! Life is good with Andrew and he has proven to me that there are nice guys in this world!!!!!!!!  Thank God!!!!  Happy weekend!!!!!

Half Marathon number 67- Winter Warrior

A Twin Thing

photo (3)Sometimes you get up and sometimes you fall down.
I was all set to run the Winter Warrior Half Marathon in Rochester, NY on January 9th! I was not excited because I confess I have not been doing long runs past 10 miles. Ever since my hip injury in May, long runs scare me.

I did not think I would be able to run for a while and I can now run. It feels great, even if it makes me sore and my back hurts. So I had mixed feelings about the race. Last year, I ran the same race and it was -9 degrees. I am not sure what the wind chill was that day, but it was rough. I thought if I had to stop I would freeze to death. I think this was a good concept because I tend to have doubt and want to walk. Walking…

View original post 534 more words

Philadelphia Rock n Roll Half Marathon #66

A Twin Thing


“Sometimes we can’t stop ourselves from falling, but we push ourselves to get up and try again.”

I wasn’t planning on running the Philadelphia Rock n Roll half marathon.  However, Andrew wanted to run it because it was fast and he wanted to qualify for Olympic Trials.  I am proud of him for not running.  He is dealing with an injury and I am amazed at how committed he is to improving and running healthy again…unlike someone I know (twittling fingers).

So I had signed up way back.  I still wanted to run, but only if it didn’t bother Andrew to be there and not run.  I had a blast and it was definitely a fast course.  This is the biggest half marathon I have ever done!  I don’t know how many people ended up finishing, but it was somewhere around 14,000 people…YIKES!!!!!!!!!  Anyhow, my time was great and I…

View original post 411 more words

Maine Half Marathon- #65

“Will run for food!!!!”

andrew and me at maine half

On October, 4, 2015, I finally completed my 65th half marathon.  I confess I am not trying to get to 100 but I will be happy when the day comes.  It is not a big deal, but it means I have been able to successfully complete 100 half marathons.  Having said this, I am thankful that I am able to run today.  It has been a challenging few months…I think the marathon is not a distance my body can handle…for now.  I would love to give it another try, but I do not know if it is worth it.

Andrew and I drove to Kennebunkport on Friday after work.  My cousin, Rachel :), lives there with her boyfriend.  Rachel coincidentally talked Henri into the half marathon…making it his first half marathon!!!!!  Congrats to him.  For not training, I would say it was a success.



The course was absolutely beautiful.  I loved it!!!!  I want to go back next year.  The medals, the shirts, and the swag in the bag were worth it.  I felt like there were a decent amount of spectators and the water stops were great.  There were people directing traffic and I even grabbed some tissues from a nice lady.  I loved the pizza at the finish line and the awards were nice.  For the half, first place took home 500$, second took home 300$ and third took home 150$.  That is awesome!  I didn’t place ha ha but I was happy with my 1:48.

elevation maine halfmapppppace

It was a great day!  I am so proud of Andrew for getting a time of 1:15.  He is injured and trying to get back into racing.  I wish I could let him borrow my heel.  I hope he gets better soon.  I am always envious of how well he can run, but I am glad because he is such a great guy!  There is nothing better than coming to the finish line and hearing him cheer for me!!!!  Best boyfriend ever.

Tonight I get to see my little lady.  I miss her all the time but I am thankful for running.  It keeps my mind off of missing her.  I am a lucky girl to have such a wonderful daughter and to be able to run every day…and to have an amazing guy in my life.  I think I am blessed.  I may not be rich, but my life is rich…AMEN!

me and lilly oiselle

Summer Daze With Heat and Haze

When you recognize that failing doesn’t make you a failure, you give yourself permission to try all sorts of things” -Lauren Fleshman



runway braimage

     It’s been just about four months since I fell apart in the Providence Marathon. May doesn’t seem that long ago, but only because it was a huge downward spiral from there. I believe things happen for a reason. I think I was so infatuated with qualifying for Boston, it made me lose sight of everything else.

I picked this quote by Lauren Fleshman because it fits me to a t.  I think as soon as I realized I had not failed my marathon, I was able to regain confidence and focus on the next steps. My hip was a big issue during my marathon, along with my knee.  I did everything right. I was on BQ pace for a majority of the race until my hip and knee could not take it. I trained and did my long runs.  I finally realize I did not fail!!!!


This is the first week I have been doing base runs for an hour.  It has not been easy, but yesterday felt like a huge milestone. I was doing really well with my every other day base runs but this week I decided to up them.  No more every other days for this girl!  It wasn’t easy and the heat did not help! I had to stop three times Wednesday to stretch my Quads.  I’m going to pt and I’m starting to feel stronger, but my knee and hip still hurt.

Yesterday was the first time in a while I was able to focus on not stopping. I definitely ran slower, but it felt awesome being able to not stop!  I think I just kept racing so much I took it for granted and didn’t really have to work for it anymore.  I remember running two half marathons in the same weekend.  I’d do one and then hop in my car for another race the next day. My times were great and I had a blast.  I lost sight of the work and art that went into running.  I ran so much it really took a toll on my body.

Sometimes I feel sad I am not as fast as I used to be. However, I think there comes a point where you have to focus on the love of a sport.  I promise you I smile. I may have ran slow yesterday, but I enjoyed my run and didn’t want to stop. I haven’t felt that in a while.  I stopped praying to get my speed back and started to be thankful for all that running has given me.  It’s hard for me to understand why people hate running. Hate is such a strong word.  I can’t help but think they are doing it wrong!

On to sunny things!  It’s been so hot this week that I have been doing everything to hydrate and stay active at the same time!  It’s my last week of freedom because I am a teacher! I have a meeting today and hopefully a schedule soon to follow. I teach ESL and love my little second and third graders!  So what helps me run, teach, and attempt to be wonder mom and girlfriend?  I have no idea!  I think my love for coffee is a bonus! I have cut down this summer but I’m sure I’ll be back up to 6 cups. My work hours are 7:35-3:45 everyday except Wednesday. I have to be to work at 7!!!! Ouch!

When I’m out on my run, I get super hot! You have no idea!  I love running in the winter because I do not feel like a tea kettle boiling! As most of you know, I’m a member of Oiselle.  I recently took on a role as “Oiselle Volee Regional Leader for NY.” It sounds nice. I’m not the best leader, but I don’t mind being a running cheerleader!!!!  I’m going to arrange some meet ups and I am required to race in Oiselle… Which is not hard to do since I own a zillion things!  My favorites are the Mac roga shorts and the runway bra.  If I attempt to wear a shirt over my bra, it’s usually the farrow tank (which I have in money and gray).  I also enjoy wearing the Verrazano bra and stride shorts.  I know some girls prefer baggy, but I do better with less!

I’m meeting up with fellow regional leader, Victoria.  We are both “benched” from racing so we are going to be running the Rochester verses Buffalo Metro 10! I haven’t ran more than 7 miles in forever, but this will be a step in the right direction.  I’m not paying attention to the clock.  If life is all about having fun and accomplishing goals, my goal tomorrow is to finish after smiling for 10 miles.  I’ll worry about racing another day.  As a Oiselle, it’s about being a team!

What races do you have coming up? Do you own any oiselle clothes and if so, what are some of your favorites?  When is your

next race?

Almost August

imageWhen you can’t run or shouldn’t run, what do you do?

Over the past few years, I have gradually explored the world of cycling.  My hip and knee have been issues since May and I’ve had to give up most of my racing season. It has been pretty awful, but I have found that cross training can be enjoyable and a good back up for anyone who is injured.

I remember when I was pregnant and could no longer run. I walked all the time, but it just wasn’t the same. Now that I know of different cross training techniques, I would definitely not go back to walking if I were pregnant again.

Cycling is a great back up. I don’t know if you cycle, but it is a great experience. Just this week, I thought to myself: “I wonder what other people think about when they cycle?”

Here is what I think about: when I cycle, it isn’t always about speed. It’s that good feeling about getting lost on the bike and looking at life in a new way. It sounds silly. When I run, I’m so focused I don’t notice as much. When I went biking the other day, I noticed a man fly fishing, a beautiful creek, and just how quiet the road was I was biking. I think I take in the view more on a bike, even though I’m convinced the hills are easier to run up than bike up.

I have missed out on more than 9 races and I truly miss pacing for races. I tell myself people are much worse off and I should be thankful I can even run.  I’ve come a long way in running and even biking. I’m definitely a stronger runner but I could definitely be a stronger biker. I’m too nervous to race cycling because of accidents and mistakes people make.  Maybe someday ill do more than one race a year.

I took the summer off from teaching and I think it was a great decision, even though my bank account disagrees. Sometimes the people who live life to the fullest are the ones with empty bank accounts.  This has been a great summer and I hope August brings me happiness.  Besides my running, I couldn’t be happier! I’m not looking forward to taking workshops, but my birthday is in a month and it’s been a great year….

MIA – My Racing Season

“A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget – me – nots have withered.  Carve your name on hearts, not on marble. ”  – Charles H. Spurgeon.

me and lillylillydance

I feel like it has been forever since I have written in my blog.  The truth is I had a lot of time I needed to get over my marathon.  I had such a good run until mile 15.  I don’t know what happened to me and I just fell apart.   I was mentally ready but I was just in so much pain I could no longer run.

About 2 weeks before my marathon, I felt a pain in my hip.  Between my hip and my knee, I was hurting too much to continue at my pace of sub 8:17.  I knew what I needed for Boston and I wanted to fight for it.  I thought about how far I have come in life and how hard I have worked for this moment.  I thought for sure I had it.

When I crossed the finish line in 4:03, my heart was devastated.  I was so sad I must have cried forever it seemed.  When I came home to New York, I took the next week off and focused on other aspects of life.  I had a great time.  I went for a long walk at Green Lakes with my friend, Marguerite Dodd.  I had a great time and it was nice to forget all about the aches and pains of the marathon.  I think the marathon takes too much out of me but I want to go to Boston.

Lilly had her dance recital coming up so I focused on taking her to dance and getting some cross training in.  I know I have the speed to get me to Boston….but I needed to go to PT.  I went to PT with my friend, Megan James.  After working her magic, I tried to come back to running.  It was not working.

Somewhere along the way, I forgot about the pains of not being able to run by cross training with my friend, Lauren…and I also had a chance to help crew for her boyfriend.  I had a great time and met some amazing people.  I think it is important to take a step back from something occasionally and focus on other aspects of life.  I was happy to help out and I had a great time…it is amazing…I am realizing you can enjoy life even when you are not running.

I had Lilly last weekend and we went to the mall.  She has been nagging for a boy doll to play marriage with.  I took her to the Disney store and she picked out Flynn Rider.  He was a keeper because he was the least creepy doll.  We have been basking in the Panera food and wandering around the mall.  I think that I have a pretty amazing, special daughter.

Her ballet recital was super cute and she did wonderful.  I know she will want to sign up again.  I have to say little girls running around in tutus are pretty stinkin cute!!!!

oiselle lillyLilly has her new Wee Bird tank from Oiselle.  She loves it and I wore my Bird Machine tank too.  I like that there are children’s shirts, but I wish there were more!!!!  I just think it is adorable to match :)….

I have received a few things from Oiselle that I am in love with <3

1.  I finally got the tool belt roga shorts in the egg shell color and I cannot wait to wear them!

2. I have the rizzo bikini and bottoms in blueberry.


3.  I also received the wings out sweatshirt in midnight.  I paired that with the midnight colored layer love tank.  I think it would also look amazing with the yellow tank.

4.  I can’t say enough about the layer love tank in stripes.  I love it!!!!  I wore it last night and didn’t want to take it off.

I am lucky to have such wonderful clothes from Oiselle.  I truly enjoy being a flock member and hope to represent Oiselle again this year.  I hope they let me !!!!!  I am not racing for a while.  I finally had an MRI on my hip.  I am still thinking a lot about it.  The doctor came in and said: “I have good news and I have bad news.”  Imagine what went through my head.

I found out that my hip is fine.  I am still a little concerned about my knee but I am not thinking about the knee at this moment.  I am more concerned about what is going on that is impacting my running.  I found out I have a 5cm cyst that is hitting my hip.  It is on my left hip.  I also have a smaller cyst on my left side.  Then, I have one on my right side that is eventually going to bother my right hip.  I tried to not get overwhelmed with emotion but all I can think is: “What does this mean?”  What does this mean??????

The doctor I talked to recommended I go for an ultrasound.  I am going today to meet with another doctor and hopefully get an ultrasound sooner than later.  She thinks they should remove it because I am rather on the little side and it will continue to bother me.  They will most likely treat it conservatively, but I want to get back to running and I am worried about how long this will take to get better.  I guess I should be happy to run, but I hate the pain that has to come along with it.  I mean, I just hurt all the time now.  I am rather stubborn, so  I am not letting it get to me.

On a good note, I know I will get better and I have had a lot of amazing things happen to me…I am not one to tell but life is pretty fantastic right now.  I think things happen for a reason and I would normally be freaking out about this…but I have been having such great days I barely think about it.  I am almost done with school for the summer.  I cannot wait!  I will certainly miss my students but I would like to rest and enjoy my time.

Have a great day and remember to be thankful for what you have :)


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 198 other followers