Take chances, take a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are. You learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. Say how you feel, always. Be you, and be okay with it.
It is Thursday and I am currently at 9 half marathons for my goal of 18. I ran about 13 miles so far this week and I have biked 25. Something is wrong though. I had to stop and think what number half marathon I was at. I am at 41…but the will to succeed is fading. I am supposed to be unstoppable. I am supposed to be this confident person who cannot be defeated and who can run at any cost….here I am with a week left before my double half marathons…and I am discouraged. I feel discouraged in general.
Why you might ask? I feel somewhat invisible these days. It Is funny because I have been gaining a lot of confidence and I suddenly find myself in a situation where I am feeling lonely….and I do not know why. Well I do somewhat…I have been testing a lot and I am not in my normal routine…I feel out of the loop. I feel somewhat forgotten. I have been somewhat quiet at work, even though I tend to be outgoing…
The last time I had two back to back races I was really sick. I am not even worried about that and I should be worried about my shoes that suck or the fact that I stopped going to track practice and my half marathon times suck this year…Boston seems like a distant dream but I refuse to give up.
I am just glad I have Lilly tonight 🙂 to cheer me up….
I feel selfish wanting to find someone to love me because I know Lilly loves me but when she isn’t here it gets too quiet as I said before….and I get sick of living in “Groundhog’s Day.” I want my happy ending…It is out there….I need to focus on finishing my races but when I see everyone so happy around me it is something I want and I know I have to be patient….I guess that is what I need to do….just relax and breathe….