Que Feriez- Vous? What Would You Do?

La chose importante est de tendre vers un objectif qui n’est pas immédiatement visible. Cet objectif n’est pas la préoccupation de l’esprit, mais de l’esprit. ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

The important thing is to strive towards a goal which is not immediately visible. That goal is not the concern of the mind, but of the spirit. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

me on bike

Excuse me.  It has been a while since I have written in French. I figured this would be something different to spice things up.

Excusez-moi. Il a été un moment depuis que j’ai écrite en français. J’ai pensée que ce serait quelque chose de différent pour pimenter les choses.

I haven’t been confessing much, so I figured I would mention that I studied French for a while.  I lived in France for a little while too.  I miss it.  Sometimes I feel like I am just lost here.  I remember the days where I would walk to school and pass over the Loire.  It was amazing.  I even had a bike.  It was a piece of crap, but it was fun to say I biked in France. 

I have been off from work all week and I have been sorting out things and consolidating so I can get ready for the school year.  I also have to decide by next Sunday if I am moving.  It is a hard decision for me to make because I am a single mom and it is a lot of work for me.  Moving sounds simple, but my knee has been bothering me and I have moved a lot.  Do you ever feel like you just don’t belong?  That is how I feel a lot.  I hate to admit it but I took those stupid quizzes on facebook to see where I belong and imaginez-vous????  I belong in a different century.  Quel Surprise!  C’est vrai de temps en temps.  Je pense que quelqu’un tres vieux.  I think like someone old-fashion…I am not sure how to translate that right so I did the best I could.

Okay moving on….I don’t really know why I am sharing all of this with you but I guess my point is that my knee has been keeping me from running so I have had a lot of time to think….c’est une catastrophe!  I should never think it is bad for the mind.  Ce n’ai pas bonne pour la santé.  It is not good for the soul.  I would like to tell you that I am happy…that  I am strong…but not today.  I think that it is normal to be fable…weak…maybe it is more worrisome to be strong all of the time…being weak shows I am only human.

The truth is…this sucks…I hate hate hate…not being able to run.  Running is the love of my life besides Lilly.  It is driving me crazy that I cannot do the one thing I love to do the most when Lilly is not here.  I cannot bike either because it is raining so much.  It is making me crazy!  I don’t really care for television and I am not a huge fan of the computer….but I guess I have loved running for so long it is hard to find something else to do.  On top of that I am on vacation from work and I cannot even plan.  I do not know where I am teaching and what I am teaching….

me on lI miss Lilly.  I miss running….you have no idea how stressful work is right now!!!!!!  When I am at the starting line…I think about all of the things that make me angry.  I am angry right now….because it sucks to be injured, alone, and uncertain of the future on many levels.  I think I belong in a different century because I don’t do well with this modern day stress.  I am too old fashion on many levels….

I wish I could go back and change from being a teacher to being an ambassador…I wonder why I was so afraid to take that leap…with languages under my belt, I think I could have been good…but now I will never know….

I haven’t ran this week…not sure if I can…I have biked 33 miles and it was great…but I need my running.  I think I will not make Boston and I am not sure I will be able to get past that…It is hard to have such a big goal and have it shattered…it would be easier if there were someone there to pick me up and say it will be alright…but I am looking down at Lilly…so I need to be strong….

So What Would You Do??????????  Try to Go For Boston or hope it is there for the taking next year?


2 thoughts on “Que Feriez- Vous? What Would You Do?”

  1. Oh no! You got the blues!! Sorry to hear! 😦 I’m wishing you the best of everything! Living in France sounds amazing and I wish you could venture back there and be sooo happy. Your daughter is adorable and I know she loves you very much because you’re an amazing mommy!! I’m seeing lots of long, yummy runs in your future. 🙂 🙂

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