Heart and Sole

“They say a good love is one that sits you down, gives you a drink of water, and pats you on top of the head. But I say a good love is one that casts you into the wind, sets you ablaze, makes you burn through the skies and ignite the night like a phoenix; the kind that cuts you loose like a wildfire and you can’t stop running simply because you keep on burning everything that you touch! I say that’s a good love; one that burns and flies, and you run with it!”
C. JoyBell C.


Last weekend, I ran a race and thought it would be my last race of the season….I figured that was it…what a good note to end on.  I have done the Delta Lake Half Marathon three times now and I love that race.  There is not much else out there I like better than that race.  It is beautiful going around the lake though, I do have a lot of memories from it and it is time to move on.  Do you believe in signs? I did not think I did either, but sometimes I feel like it is true…that things happen and they happen for a reason.  I was all set to be done with it!!!!  I see all these people running and I am extremely jealous.  I don’t think people get it.  I must drive people nuts with my passion for running.  Running and Lilly, it feels like that is my life.  I love to bike too, but it doesn’t make me feel as amazing as running yet…maybe there is hope….but running makes my day.


So a sign?  I believe things happen for a reason.  I have had some knee trouble so I have had to defer a lot of races.  I feel like I already have a race season next year because of it.  It is sad at how many misses I have given up.  Well, the Wineglass Marathon is next weekend and that was supposed to be my big fat BQ!!!!  “Was supposed to be….”  I cannot run a full marathon.  It was already too late to defer….so I looked at other options.  I have a chance to claim the state of New Hampshire and run the Bristol Half Marathon on Saturday, October 4, 2014.  I was all excited.  I wanted to sign up.


I took Lilly apple picking today to get my mind off of running and to try to live life without running. It didn’t work.  The whole time I was out with Lilly, all I could think about were races today and all the people who ran the Ragnar Relay.  I want to be out there getting lost on the hills.  I want to be that girl who runs fast and finishes strong.


I do not want to be a quitter.  I feel like this coming week I have been given a sign that my season isn’t over…you might be wonder what that was.  I know there is this thing going on in New York where you get a refund for $350.00 from the state and I received it.  I guess that isn’t a huge sign, but then I was told there is still hope that I can do a half marathon on Sunday instead of a full marathon.


So what do I do?  I am faced with this dilemma.  Do I not race and hope that my knee heals, though it hasn’t?  I am supposed to go to the Doctor’s office tomorrow for my knee but is one weekend going to make that much of a difference?  Will I sit around and mope all weekend and end up running anyways?  Or will I take the road unknown and go out and live every single second to the fullest?  I do not want to stop running and I am sure if I were like most people who have distractions or people to spend their free time with, I would be okay with not running…but I do not have that…I have been really happy lately and I do not want that feeling to go away.  I am a Oiselle now and I feel this sense of pride and I want to keep running and representing Oiselle.  I would love to be part of a team locally…I do run with the Y runners…sometimes…well not very often…I think I have been three times.  I would love to do a Ragnar…

“The one who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The one who walks alone, is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.” ~ Albert Einstein

Lately, I feel like Einstein is right.  Sometimes I think I try too hard to fit in when I am not meant to fit in.  I think I sometimes have this strong determination and sense of independence.  Sure, I want to be loved!  Who doesn’t?  But maybe I was born to stand out!  It only took me 34 years to accept that ha ha.

What to do…….New Hampshire, Wineglass……no run…………

Find someplace beautiful and get lost………………………………………………………..


Feeling Blessed

“We cannot rewrite the past. It’s done. You cannot change it. Instead, focus on the now. Live everyday to the fullest…”


I’m still sad that my season is inevitably over…. almost 99% sure. I go back to the doctor on Monday.

I think I’m sad because I long for more. It was amazing. I really lived life to the fullest and I hope I can continue….it was wonderful and my mind is always trailing off to these beautiful races!!! I also met a lot of wonderful people…I would name all of you but I don’t want to be in any trouble for forgetting anyone…I have to mention Cynthia, Andrea  and Judy..I’d mention Adam, Judy….but now all I can think about is the banana pumpkin smoothie!   I want one…than you for warming up to me!  I am rather shy, but I think you realize I am not so strange once you get to know me!  Just think, it I had never gone to the Oceans Run half in Rhode Island, we never would have met!

I am also excited to be a Oiselle member….it has become such a positive experience and the girls are wonderful!

I know I started out with some silly challenge….but it was a pretty incredible ride!

I will get it back…I hope…I should feel blessed that I was able to go and have good speed for a while….instead of being angry that I am injured, I should be happy for what I have had…it was amazing….and Boston…ill get there…just not today :-)……I need to listen to my body and advice..

The Wicked Half Marathon- Salem, Massachusetts! (half 52/20 this year)

A Twin Thing

“Live the Life of Your Dreams.”


Ever since finishing my 50th half marathon on August 9, 2014, I have been depressed because I have not really been able to run.  Sure, I did a few 5ks and a 10k and did really well…but anyone who knows me, knows that my heart belongs to the half marathon.  There is just something that makes me feel so good when it comes to the half.

So I decided I was going to see how the knee is today.  I have a lateral meniscus tear and a bruised tibia…I have been going to physical therapy since July and I have not been running much.  I had my knee taped and I was hoping it would not be so bad.  my poor knee

Why today?

I do not have Lilly this weekend and I had signed up for the Wicked Half Marathon a long time ago.  I know…

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Lost on A Run

     No matter how down, how tired, or how lazy I feel, there is nothing that beats the feel of a good run.  You might be wondering where I have been or why I have been so distant with my blog.  Where have I been?

     I have been right here. I have been that girl who walks silently throughout the grocery store…I am that girl who smiles and works with children all day long.  I am that girl who has maybe walked right by you and you have not noticed.

     It is funny how life works out.  I am so happy to be at my new school.  I feel like I might be able to make a difference.  I have a nice job and I am surrounded by amazing children from all over the world.  I wish I could share their beautiful faces with you all, but I am not allowed to.  You can understand.  Life seems to be falling into place…but why am I so down and up…up and down?

     I cannot run well….it has been far too long.  I am so sad.  When I look at my blog, I want to revisit my amazing races.  I love to race and I had so much fun…but that girl who is glowing during the race…she is missing right now and I cannot get her back.  I go about my day but when I am rushing to get my next class, I often think, “I wish I could run.”  It is hard to not have it come up in conversation. 

     I am sure you are thinking: “There could be worse things in life.”  I know and I agree so I feel somewhat selfish…but when I come home to an empty house, knowing that I do not get to see Lilly, it makes me sad.  I do not know how or why it has taken so long to be able to get back into running.  I know that I have a bruised tibia and torn meniscus…but running is the air that I breathe.  I suppose it would be different if I had someone to enjoy biking with and get lost on the hills with…my bike does a good job but I miss Lilly…and I miss running.  Imagine if I can never run again?  I cannot imagine it…or am I living this feeling right now?  What if my running will never be the same and I will never…ever make it to Boston? I know there could be worse things but I was always taught that if you work hard your dreams will come true…and Boston…Boston is my dream and I want to get there.  I am sorry I have been distant…but it is hard to know that Boston has started its registration process and this will be another year my name does not make it into the program. 

     I know that there is more to life than Boston.  I work in Syracuse and it is a tough district but I love it.  I want to be a positive role model and get children to run and reach for their dreams…how am I supposed to do that when I cannot run?

I wish I could run around the block three times and my pain would magically go away…I wish I could run down the street and climb that pole at the playground and ring the bell so it goes away.  I need a miracle to happen I suppose…the longer I do not run, the more I let life seem less amazing.