Lost on A Run

     No matter how down, how tired, or how lazy I feel, there is nothing that beats the feel of a good run.  You might be wondering where I have been or why I have been so distant with my blog.  Where have I been?

     I have been right here. I have been that girl who walks silently throughout the grocery store…I am that girl who smiles and works with children all day long.  I am that girl who has maybe walked right by you and you have not noticed.

     It is funny how life works out.  I am so happy to be at my new school.  I feel like I might be able to make a difference.  I have a nice job and I am surrounded by amazing children from all over the world.  I wish I could share their beautiful faces with you all, but I am not allowed to.  You can understand.  Life seems to be falling into place…but why am I so down and up…up and down?

     I cannot run well….it has been far too long.  I am so sad.  When I look at my blog, I want to revisit my amazing races.  I love to race and I had so much fun…but that girl who is glowing during the race…she is missing right now and I cannot get her back.  I go about my day but when I am rushing to get my next class, I often think, “I wish I could run.”  It is hard to not have it come up in conversation. 

     I am sure you are thinking: “There could be worse things in life.”  I know and I agree so I feel somewhat selfish…but when I come home to an empty house, knowing that I do not get to see Lilly, it makes me sad.  I do not know how or why it has taken so long to be able to get back into running.  I know that I have a bruised tibia and torn meniscus…but running is the air that I breathe.  I suppose it would be different if I had someone to enjoy biking with and get lost on the hills with…my bike does a good job but I miss Lilly…and I miss running.  Imagine if I can never run again?  I cannot imagine it…or am I living this feeling right now?  What if my running will never be the same and I will never…ever make it to Boston? I know there could be worse things but I was always taught that if you work hard your dreams will come true…and Boston…Boston is my dream and I want to get there.  I am sorry I have been distant…but it is hard to know that Boston has started its registration process and this will be another year my name does not make it into the program. 

     I know that there is more to life than Boston.  I work in Syracuse and it is a tough district but I love it.  I want to be a positive role model and get children to run and reach for their dreams…how am I supposed to do that when I cannot run?

I wish I could run around the block three times and my pain would magically go away…I wish I could run down the street and climb that pole at the playground and ring the bell so it goes away.  I need a miracle to happen I suppose…the longer I do not run, the more I let life seem less amazing. 

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4 thoughts on “Lost on A Run”

  1. So happy you love your new school!!! Sorry about the whole running thing but you’re a strong woman so I know you’ll bounce back quickly!!! Miss ya!! XOXO!!! Text me anytime!! XOXO!!

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