Smuttynose 5k and the Ocean’s Run

I usually start with a quote but I don’t have one today. It’s a hard feeling today….. I am not sure how I feel really. I left town Friday and imagewent to Massachusetts. I woke up and ran the 5k easy. It was icy and there were several pot holes… So I took it easy and finished with a 23:11…. Not bad for not trying to kill myself on the ice.

I had so much fun at the carousel lounge. It was fun to watch all of the runners singing. I didn’t drink but had an awesome time!

Then I went to Rhode Island. I went to dinner at an Italian restaurant called “Siena.” I loved it and the food was amazing. I had rizotto with chicken. I had chocolate mousse cake for dessert.  We got up and went to Waikfield for the half. I did it last year after I ran a half. They had to shorten the course.  It said 12.5 but I ran 12.8 and added on to get my 13.1 because I drove for a half marathon.  I finished in 1:44:45 and had a blast. I felt like my old self and this girl told me I was her hero. I get out there and smile and have a great time. I do listen to music to help me breathe and sometimes I don’t.

When I was out there yesterday, I thought about how hard I had worked to get where I was with running and I want it back. I think if you have the heart for it you will do well.  It’s funny now my tired legs suddenly felt like they could go on forever. I didn’t hurt anymore and the shin splints I felt didn’t bother me.  I just ran with my heart. It worked and I hope it keeps happening.

My coach would kill me but I took a few days off this week. I feel miserable. When I am not racing, I’m home alone when I don’t have Lilly. I go to work and want to fit in and have a good time….but it just isn’t happening.  I love my kids and they make my day but the silence drives me crazy. I don’t know what to do and I’d be lying if I said I was happy…I want to stay but I also want to belong. I don’t know what to do but I’m just gonna be myself…. Maybe that is the hardest part. I come back from these amazing places and here, I just feel ordinary. I’m noticed as the runner but I’m invisible as the teacher..and it’s funny because I love being a teacher…. Is it possible to be noticed as both…? I do not remember what was like to not be a runner.  I started when I was 26 so it’s been about 8 years…. But I have been teaching for 12 years. In any case, this was my 61st half 🙂


4 thoughts on “Smuttynose 5k and the Ocean’s Run”

  1. You are Great:) Happiness truly does come from inside. I know your happy running but its more like meditation. I find that biking. No need to label yourself as Ordinary, you are far from it. You are a wonderful amazing person with unlimited abilities. Remember to sing and dance and celebrate every day, even the quiet ones at home alone. Remember to reach out to your friends, no reason to feel lonely when so many would love to share your stories 🙂 Chin up sunshine, I see many rays of light in your future.

    1. Thanks I was actuAlly crying when I wrote this. I love running and it’s my happy place. I think that is why I got decent at it and just needed the coaching to help me work with it to get better and leash it. I get worked up and go too fast and die in races. And I shouldn’t care what people think but I’ve always been sensitive. A lot of my friends love out of state too so it isn’t easy to just go hang out….and then there is marathon training

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s