I usually start with a quote but I don’t have one today. It’s a hard feeling today….. I am not sure how I feel really. I left town Friday and went to Massachusetts. I woke up and ran the 5k easy. It was icy and there were several pot holes… So I took it easy and finished with a 23:11…. Not bad for not trying to kill myself on the ice.
I had so much fun at the carousel lounge. It was fun to watch all of the runners singing. I didn’t drink but had an awesome time!
Then I went to Rhode Island. I went to dinner at an Italian restaurant called “Siena.” I loved it and the food was amazing. I had rizotto with chicken. I had chocolate mousse cake for dessert. We got up and went to Waikfield for the half. I did it last year after I ran a half. They had to shorten the course. It said 12.5 but I ran 12.8 and added on to get my 13.1 because I drove for a half marathon. I finished in 1:44:45 and had a blast. I felt like my old self and this girl told me I was her hero. I get out there and smile and have a great time. I do listen to music to help me breathe and sometimes I don’t.
When I was out there yesterday, I thought about how hard I had worked to get where I was with running and I want it back. I think if you have the heart for it you will do well. It’s funny now my tired legs suddenly felt like they could go on forever. I didn’t hurt anymore and the shin splints I felt didn’t bother me. I just ran with my heart. It worked and I hope it keeps happening.
My coach would kill me but I took a few days off this week. I feel miserable. When I am not racing, I’m home alone when I don’t have Lilly. I go to work and want to fit in and have a good time….but it just isn’t happening. I love my kids and they make my day but the silence drives me crazy. I don’t know what to do and I’d be lying if I said I was happy…I want to stay but I also want to belong. I don’t know what to do but I’m just gonna be myself…. Maybe that is the hardest part. I come back from these amazing places and here, I just feel ordinary. I’m noticed as the runner but I’m invisible as the teacher..and it’s funny because I love being a teacher…. Is it possible to be noticed as both…? I do not remember what was like to not be a runner. I started when I was 26 so it’s been about 8 years…. But I have been teaching for 12 years. In any case, this was my 61st half 🙂