Fast Legs-Free Heart

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I have been thinking a lot this week.  I started this blog forever ago and I need to get back to it!  Often when I run, I get lost in deep thought.  “What do I think about when I run?”  Sometimes, I have no idea.  Sometimes, it makes me angry.  Sometimes, I get depressed.  Yes, I said it.  I don’t know why either.  I think we all get depressed at times and it just makes us human.  I think for me, running alone in the dark makes me get depressed.  It can be very lonely out there.  I wouldn’t necessarily change it.  I feel relaxed and sometimes I push myself harder.

 

When I go running, I become discouraged at times.  I know a lot of runners do.  It is a mental battle and you have to find a way out of it, or you will not finish your run.  For me, I think about those who can’t.  My friend, Melissa, she made me aware of a group called “Outrun.”  It is a group of people fighting for people with CF.  They have races and post every day all of the miles they run.  I think this is a wonderful group and I am excited about it.  If you have something positive to think about, you will never fail.  I think about all of the people who cannot run and how much they want to.  I hope there is never a day I cannot run.  I would be sad.

 

This week, I am slowly heeling from my bad fall on Saturday.  I won’t lie, it was scary.  I woke myself up twice this week from the sensation of falling.  It was awful.  I never want to fall again.  I started Monday off with a nice 7.4 mile run.  Tuesday, I went out to do my long run and at about mile four, it started to blizzard.  It was awful.  I had a headlamp on and a lot of reflective gear.  I am pretty sure my eye lashes were icy and my face was frozen.  I get sensitive so I was upset when a truck honked at me.  I didn’t know it was going to be that bad out and I was wearing the proper reflective items.   Also, I was running way over on the grass.  There was nothing more I could do.  I would never take a ride from a stranger, but instead of honking, he could have checked to make sure I was alright.  I have been asked by many people during bad storms if I needed a ride.  There are a lot of good citizens out there.  However, my mother always tells me to never under any circumstances, take a ride from a stranger.  Her friend was killed in college when she was hitch-hiking.  Her name was Reggie and I think her killer was recently found but I am not 100% sure.

 

 

We had a snow day on Wednesday.  It was really nice because I got to go to the gym and run.  I was already up to 15 miles on Wednesday morning, but this brought me up to 22.5….I am beginning to like 7.5 miles….I think this is my magical number.  It feels just right and I feel like I get a good workout.  I do not feel tired.  I hope I can keep this up though today will be hard.  It’s Friday and I am excited to be at 30 miles for the week already.  I time it just right so I can run before I pick up Lilly.  Lilly is happy she gets to play so I do not feel bad about running.  I got done running my 7.5 miles of progression yesterday and she was running in the gym…that is a double win!!!!!

 

I still haven’t done my long run for the week so I am hoping to tomorrow if the weather isn’t horrible.  My nephew’s birthday was yesterday so I am going to Oswego today with Andrew and Lilly for Dinner.  I need to run before and I have to make time.  It seems pretty nice outside so maybe during planning I can get a few miles in.  Sometimes I think people look at me like I am crazy to run so much…but it relaxes me and I get really stressed.  I think it keeps me sane sometimes and I feel amazing.

 

Today’s thought:  Sometimes you just have to have faith that things will work out.  It may not go as planned, but it makes you stronger.  Running has truly been a blessing.  I have a wonderful daughter and I have not had an easy past.  Running has given me faith that if you push yourself and set goals, anything is possible.  You just have to believe that there is a plan, even if you cannot see it!

 

What is next?  I do not have any races coming up soon…it feels nice because I can just run and be happy.  I think the month of April and the  month of May will be pretty busy.  I am looking forward to Spring, but I think mother nature has given us a pretty good winter so far.  I cannot complain because I can still feel my finger tips!

 

As for life, I am excited to bring Lilly to a paint class Sunday!!!!   She loves to paint so I cannot wait! Life is good with Andrew and he has proven to me that there are nice guys in this world!!!!!!!!  Thank God!!!!  Happy weekend!!!!!

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